I cut my penus on the lid.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize