Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
