i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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