This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
