...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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