Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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