So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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