question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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