We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
