He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
honey bunches of taint.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
