How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
