HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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