I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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