My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
