yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
