when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
