how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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