I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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