Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
North Korea, Best Korea!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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