It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
