Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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