would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
