i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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