But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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