you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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