Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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