I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
