Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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