If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
