Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We are all done wearing pants today
He shit in the fireplace
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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