I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Houston, we have a blender
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The air taste purple.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
