Moan for me like Helen Keller
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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