today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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