my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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