the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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