I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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