Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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