i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have surprise drugs for everyone
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
