after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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