Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
