this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
