Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dicks are not precious.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
