how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
