the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
