I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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