I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I touched a dick in church today
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
