Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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