He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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