i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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