I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize