I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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