Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
