Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
