I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
