tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
