I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
