if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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