i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
