i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
