Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
with your own penis?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
