i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
