I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Two words: nipple clamps
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
