someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
