I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
