then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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