I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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