Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
