walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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