I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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